Ihave no time

“I don’t have time,” he told me. He said it like someone says, “It’s raining” or “It’s late.” Just another phrase. And yet, it left an emptiness inside me.

Behind those words hides an entire world: distance, indifference, the unwillingness to truly be there. Because time, real time, is something we all have. It’s never about quantity. It’s about intention. 

Time isn’t something you find. It’s something you give. You offer it, like a coffee, like a smile after hours. And when someone doesn’t give it, it simply means something or someone comes before you in their heart or mind.

When someone says, “I don’t have time,” they usually say it without thinking. It’s become normal, almost polite. But we should be careful, because words that sound light to us can feel heavy to someone else.

 It’s like saying, “There’s no space for you.” And even if it’s not meant to hurt, it’s still a choice. One that, over time, becomes a habit. A habit that gently, quietly, pushes people away.

Time isn’t something you stumble upon. It’s something you choose. 

If someone truly cares, they make time. They carve it out between a meeting and a red light, between one email and the next supermarket run. Even just for a message, a call, a quick coffee. It’s not about having time, it’s about wanting to be there. And making sure you are.

There’s another truth too, a bit painful but worth facing. The time we give others tells the truth about us. 

It shows who matters, who stays close and who gets left behind. Each “I don’t have time” dropped like a forgotten note slowly builds distance. Not right away. But it adds up. Until one day, you realize they’re gone. Or worse, they stopped waiting.

I know it well. I’ve said “I don’t have time” with a hot coffee in one hand and my phone in the other. But if I’m honest, it wasn’t time I was missing. It was the will. The will to show up, to open up, to really listen. 

Time is something we choose. Something we give. Something we offer the way ywe’d offer kindness. And when we think about it, it’s simple. 

Those who care, find time. And if they don’t find it, they create it.

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Every “I don’t have time” is a quiet choice. It shows who we value and where we truly are. If you feel it’s time to reconnect with what really matters — presence, relationships, and clarity — coaching might help you pause, reflect, and realign.

Explore how coaching can help you and possibly access a pro bono cycle with me. Nicola Arnese offers these sessions in his free time so as not to create conflicts with other professional commitments. Some flexibility in scheduling may be necessary.