Do you have the courage to be a fair person?

Everyone says they want to do the right thing. As if it were easy. As if doing the math, putting everything in order, and clearing your conscience was all it took.

But the truth is, being a fair person, truly fair, not just performative, is a subtle craft. It doesn’t happen in courtrooms, but in hallways. Not in speeches, but in silences. Not in big moments, but in those when no one is watching.

Let me give you an example.

You’re at dinner. One of those relaxed evenings with lifelong friends, homemade meatballs, and wine flowing a bit too freely. Laughter, chatter, all seems perfect. Then someone drops a comment. One of those jokes that only the person saying it finds funny. A jab dressed up as humor. And you notice right away that something’s off. Someone else laughs but looks down. That wasn’t a joke. It was a cheap shot.

And right there, something happens. You don’t see it, but you feel it. Inside you, a little bell rings. You know you have two options: say something calmly, kindly; or let it slide, so you don’t spoil the evening. And that’s where everything hangs. Because being honest, fair, loyal isn’t about grand gestures. It’s about small, quiet, decisive moments.

Being a fair person means, at times, disrupting the peace to protect someone who has no voice. It means choosing discomfort, even when no one asks you to. It means being “too much.” And doing it anyway.

Because if not you, then who?

Let’s be clear: no one is perfect. Sometimes we mess up, stay quiet, regret it later. It happens to everyone. But even just noticing it, even just asking yourself the question, is a first step.

And maybe the question isn’t, “Am I a fair person?”

The real question might be:

“Do I have the courage to act fairly, even when it’s uncomfortable?”

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Being fair takes awareness, courage, and a touch of daily rebellion. If you’d like to explore how to bring these values into your work, your team, or your leadership, let’s talk.

Book a free, no-obligation session to explore your goals, see how coaching might help, and possibly access a pro bono coaching program with me.

Nicola Arnese offers these sessions in his spare time to avoid conflicts with professional commitments. Some flexibility in scheduling may be required.